Day 1, Monday 29th October

Yesterday, by default, our body clocks advanced by one hour. The sounding alarm clock this morning is out of step. The five minutes before rising is spent adjusting to real time and listening to the waves being driven ashore by the stormy weather. Time to put the brain into Photoshop mode.
First, a hearty breakfast with Sam's, by now world famous, freshly baked bread and Suzy's delicious plate of cooked "you name it, you got it".

All participants are now assembled - Ian, our workshop tutor, Ilske, Anne, John, Joe, James, Caroline, Robert and the diarist for today. A preview peek into the room housing the workstations render me as confused as the portions of spaghetti emanating from the back of all the computers. Ian is very reassuring. Everything will make more sense at the end of week.

9.30 am. Cast off!! We're all at sea - literally. We introduce ourselves and tell Ian what photography (traditional and digital) we have done in the past. Ian tells us what we will be able to do in the future. It seems like a fair deal. (What is this guy from the local constabulary, PC Mac, doing on this workshop?)

We are asked to pay particular attention to our filing practice and to right-protect our original images. This is not in order to protect our intellectual property but to prevent us destroying our originals. As if we would!

Now it's really beginning to get interesting. Much high powered talk about DPI's, pixels, TIFF's, GIF's and PSD's. I feel important! My head is spinning. 11.30 am. Time for a coffee break. Ian says everything will become a lot clearer as we go along. I trust Ian.

History, layers, cropping, text T, magic wand and cloning. Now we're on a high. You should see us surfing inside Photoshop. Sam is not pleased. I have just expunged all of Quiraing Lodge and his dog Yoda. Only seconds ago they were there. Now they are gone. I am feeling the power of Photoshop surging through my veins. 1.30 pm. Lunch.

Suzy's piping hot delicious home made fresh vegetable soup (incapable of being cloned even with Photoshop) garnished with fresh herbs harvested in the kitchen's bay window (see photograph) and an impressive array of cheeses accompanied as always by freshly baked wholesome soda bread and fresh fruit was awaiting us. A caffetiere of aroma rich coffee ensures we replenish our attention levels for the afternoon session. Healthy food and Photoshop - I feel invincible.

A panicky discussion ensues about the level of wine stocks for consumption with dinner. The Kellermeister assures every-one that the blood level in our alcohol veins is unlikely to rise during the course of the evening. Tomorrow's rations will be reviewed at midnight and John is declared team leader of the wine replenishing unit.

The afternoon was spent image gathering by way of digital photography and scanning of negatives and prints.

Some hardy types braved the weather and drove their photographic equipment and themselves to the limit outside in the lashing rain. All-weather photography acquired a new meaning! Caroline is in witchcraft mode ( click Photoshop > image > pagan religions > resolution) and puts her spell on all digital cameras which promptly cease to function. A local concoction of SCSI (pronounced Skuzzi in local Skye dialect) pixels, flash, dissolution, burns and slices is the appropriate antidote. All cameras are once again in perfect working order.

Ian's patience is inexhaustible. Everyone takes full advantage of his weakness. Deleted images and files are miraculously restored and new images downloaded in readiness for tomorrow's onslaught. 5.15 pm. We're exhausted.

Michael Vogt

on to Tuesday

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